Over Memorial Day weekend, I attended a wedding with my partner. I absolutely love to switch up the accessories I wear, so I had brought a lot of jewelry to the 5 day affair. However, when I pulled out the carrier of said pieces, all the jewelry I brought to choose from tangled together into one giant mass. What a mess…it ended up leading me to ask for help of my partner and many of his friends, one by one, to get them untangled. What a beautiful team effort by people I didn’t know well. I felt silly passing this big blob on to others to ask for help in untangling, but it was a beautiful puzzle that many people seemed to enjoy. The woman who finally did the untangling of all the pieces did so in under 10 minutes. She was a miracle worker, and yet, her success depended on the progress of others.
A standard part of yoga or meditation practice is intention setting. Deepak Chopra says that “everything that happens in the universe starts with intention,” and so should we. Intention is the seed we plant that will grow into change. Intention allows our mind to ever wander with thoughts but to have an anchor point. Mine, recently, has been the intention to give and receive love…to myself, from myself, and to others in my life. Strangely, I ended up getting stuck on forgiving myself rather than just going to a place of abundance. I got tangled up more in the process of untangling. And this happens to all of us, but what’s necessary is to turn back to our intention. To give ourselves the things we seek.
Earlier this week, I made a huge breakthrough in therapeutic treatment: I realized that I had always been referring to my trauma as one giant mass, as trauma with a capital T. It would be like referring to my big mass of jewelry as my “jewelry,” not pointing out that there were individual pieces in there that were tighter or looser in the giant mass. Not acknowledging individual progress. Once I was able to bring awareness to the many different strands of trauma in my life, several of them were able to just fall away easily. They had become so loose that I could just let them go. I, myself, could take them away from the mass I was untangling.
This gentle and seemingly minor point of awareness has let in many small areas for self love and rebuilding. Small cracks where there were once pieces of sadness, of despair, of the intense desire to be forgiven…only to realize that there was nothing I needed to be forgiven for. Those pieces of trauma, alone, just like memories of happiness, playfulness, laughter, sadness, anger, or any other time, all are beautiful just as they are. Together, with the capital T, they seem overwhelming and insurmountable, but handled separately, they are a reminder that all facets of life are there for a purpose. So often we grow impatient, trying to untangle the giant mass all at once, when, really, if we focus gently on finding the pieces that are free, the mass will untangle all on its own. One by one, piece by piece. And, letting go of the giant mass doesn’t mean you are neglecting it…for the mass we so tightly hold onto is made of all the individual strands of jewelry. Nothing added. Nothing subtracted. Just free. And there is comfort in that.
I will leave you with a magical piece of writing today by Monique M, from today’s post:
What if everything in our lives is perfect? What if all the events and circumstances that make up each of our lives are perfect, even the ones we think are mistakes? A perfect confluence of events to bring us to this point right here… this juncture at which we stand right here, right now as we’re reading this. Perfect. No matter what it looks like in the moment, whether we like it, or not; whether we hate it, or not; whether it’s humiliating, or not; whether it’s joyous, or not; whether we understand its importance, or not; whether we understand which puzzle piece it is yet, or how it fits into the bigger picture.
What if none of it is bad? A mistake? Or wrong?
Could life be peaceful if we can accept it all? In the moment? As it comes to us? As it unfolds? As it is happening? Even when the events or circumstances seem to only bring us disappointment, mayhem, anger, and upset?
What if, even through all our disappointment with life and ourselves, we really are perfect as we are? Not a perfection of all our exterior attributes, but a perfection that is our very greatness. Nothing needing to be added, or subtracted from us. Just as we are.
We are divine. Just as we are.
True perfection seems imperfect, yet it is perfectly itself. True fullness seems empty, yet it is fully present. True straightness seems crooked. True wisdom seems foolish. True art seems artless.
— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching