You never know what moments will hold the most meaning while you’re living them.
This morning, I awoke from a dream I’ve been playing on repeat for weeks now, always ending in the same place: he opens the door to his old apartment, smiles that huge, goofy smile and says, wide-eyed, “HELLO!” The scene ends and I awake. The blue trimming of the doorway, the peeling paint on the door, the narrow landing near the stairwell, the chattering of others coming from inside the apartment. Of all the moments over the years, that one has become a favorite. Especially now. Especially when that smile is gone; the smile that always seemed to open every locked door in my heart.
Where I fumbled with my airplane seatbelt and we locked eyes.
Where I saw tears stream from those beautiful eyes.
Where he taught me how to properly pour wine.
When I first met his dad.
When he first called me out on a lie.
When he challenged my feminism.
Moments. So many small memories that seemed insignificant at the time but now seem to be the things I remember best.
Tonight, a stranger asked me if it was better to have a respectful, thoughtful ending to a romantic relationship or one that cuts you off at the knees.
I would never jeopardize the beautiful memories with someone just because the production of them ends.
Never take the moments for granted. You never know when they’ll stop occurring.