Knowing

It’s in the quiet moments

When I know you’re the one.

We may not reunite,

At least in this life,

But there’s no question in my mind

That we’re destined.

It’s the response

From one of my molecules

To one of yours

That’s unexplainable.

What I think is what you say,

Where you kiss is what I need,

Right place,

Right time.

So secure in this knowing

That we can walk away,

Even for a lifetime.

I look at you with only pride.

Go do it! Go forward!

Leave me to grow!

Leaving, knowing

There’s no one else

Who knows,

Who sees,

Who feels,

Who can be.

Twin soul,

For now,

you’re free.

But, after long,

You’ll be

With me.

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Guessing

When I saw you

I knew

no one would compare

I thought

Love at first sight was a hoax

Now I know it’s no joke.

When I felt you

I knew

All the trauma, the mistrust

Prepared me

To feel these arms

To recognize safety

To know you’d do no harm.

When I tasted you

I knew

What passion could

Would

Should be.

My body lit up like a Christmas tree.

You reveal me like an onion

You protect me like a knight

You scare me like a beast

You are my love at first sight.

I want to hold you in my arms

get tangled up in your sheets

Go on wild foreign adventures

coordinate, align, live your heartbeats.

You make me wonder like a child

Giggle like teenager

feel like a woman

the most authentic versions of myself.

Light me up,

Set me on fire,

Fan the flames

Grow the desire.

Clark Kent

So many periods

Of times apart,

Pining for times together

To embrace the heart.

We were both made to be gods

To give the world something bigger

Better

Greater

We’re the hero class, you and me.

Hearts thrown aside

To step into destiny.

But let’s just imagine

We took a moment to

Just be.

Two classy geniuses.

In the throes of breath,

Of embrace,

Of romance.

Don’t worry,

Just imagine it for a moment.

The burning intensity.

It’s night in Metropolis.

You in a dapper dark suit,

A bow tie and your dark glasses.

Your hair brushed and placed perfectly.

Your smile lighting up the sky,

Even amidst the city lights.

Me, in a satin ballgown,

Soft to the touch,

Bare shoulders and hair pulled back,

Tiny hairs on end with the blowing wind.

Classic and elegant.

Hopeful and happy.

I put my hand on your chest,

underneath your jacket

Looking to feel your heartbeat on my palm

Breathing in sync,

inhaling your essence.

Soul mates, aligned,

If only for a moment.

We kiss, we touch,

We devour,

Overlooking the city below

We own the night

Looking out only for us.

Pure chemistry.

Elemental.

Two gods,

controlling the swirl

Of weather and time.

Slowed in your embrace.

Brief moments where

Our energies recharge

and then, like clockwork,

We are called to duty

To serve the greater purpose.

When do we make it last?

When do we slow it down?

When have we saved the world,

If we haven’t saved ourselves?

The sweater 

About a month ago now

Has it really been that long?

I became enveloped in you,

As always

Leaving my sweater at the restaurant

Caught off guard 

By my utter lack of concern

For a piece of fabric 

I loved, so much.

I can pinpoint the moment

Where that sweater mattered nothing

When the attention shifted

From me to room to you,

To us.

At that moment,

There was one.

An us. 

Nearly a year in this dating game

And I saw it,

Clear as day.

Turning toward, with conviction.

I started to fall

An emotional moment that 

Took me by surprise.

You were my fling in the district

I, your transition person,

And yet, we transitioned,

Into something else.

Something more.

I began to fall,

Leaving that fabric behind.

You could have mailed it,

You know.

But instead, you took me up

On my playful advice

To keep it, hold that sweater I love

For ransom.

To see me again. 

I want to wear you on my arm

Like that beautiful sweater.

I want to snuggle you,

Pull you close to me in the autumn air.

I want to take you home,

Keep you in my closet.

All for me. 

I want people to compliment you

Compliment me for having you.

To be so lucky.

Simply,

I want that sweater

In your closet,

me in your room

Enveloping me in you

More.

Perhaps always. 

Perhaps not. 

But always, 

more.

Graveside

19 years ago today, I watched dirt pile over my best friend’s casket. I watched as what was left of her was lowered into the ground, inch by inch, the physical space between us mounting. I loved her, I did. 

Since that time, I’ve visited her grave often. I talk to her. I smile at her. I cry with her. I’ve moved away and still I sit with her when I’m home. Sometimes, people ask me if I still have friends or family in my hometown, and I want to say that’s she’s there. I want to raise her from the dead, keep her going. 

Last year, for the first time, I heard her whispering to me. I felt her presence. I experienced the games she still played on me. Now, you may not believe any of these experiences, you may think that dead is dead, but I know it in my core. I know she’s always around, wreaking havoc. Kokopelli girl. 

Today, as I was sitting in the sun at her grave, and I saw 2 blue dragonflies fly around us, finally landing on her headstone. Dragonflies are the sign of my spirit animal, my patronus. They mean I’m on the right track, where I need to be. That I’m doing the right thing. I had my angel sitting on the headstone at the same time, and I felt watched, guarded, protected, loved. I looked at her headstone and said, “i release you.” And she was no longer lingering, but the love and protection were still there. Peaceful girl. 

And always, I carry her heart. I carry it in my heart.

Translucent

You left nearly an hour ago

But I can still smell you 

On these sheets I’ve climbed into

Wishing you hadn’t gone.

You impress me

Always

And before, you’ve held back

But this time was different

You looked at me

This time

Like you wanted to see me.

There was no film or filter.

It was easier than I even wanted

Let alone expected

Easier to be held

By your radiance.

Can we start over?

Can we make this the first night,

Our first date,

The first time we made love,

The first time in discovery?

I long for more of this,

Of you,

Unencumbered, 

Unfiltered,

Unmarried.

You’ve got all of you to give now,

And tonight,

You gave it to me, for the first time.

I’ve never felt so whole.

So seen. So completely seen.

Your gaze into my eyes,

Your hand on the small of my back,

Your knee pressing against mine,

Your tenderness on my lips,

Your hand inside my hand,

Your skin against my tongue,

Against my skin,

Enveloping me in knowing.

Vulnerable yet safe.

Seen and yet 

Longing for your eyes to keep seeing.